Cell phone has much function for use . It can send image, save files, for example: taking pictures, listening music, watching movies. And the size of cell phone are lighter and more flimsy.
Cell phone is popularity, it is means fashion, individualism, current. So much people are not only ues it to speak, but they all compared that who’s cell phone is cool and fashion.
But cell phone makes many problems. For example: someone wanted a new cell phone who can steal it. As well, someone had no money to pay for communicate expense. Someone have magpie of cell phone. Because the values of cell phone that is not less than pearls and jewels. Therefore, a fancy of cell phone has to stop before going too far.
2 則留言:
who's ==> whose
You can use some connecting words to make your arcticle more fluent.
The last paragraph you should pay attention on the tense. Sometime you use present, but sometime you use past.
B9209014
1.有些句子看起來怪怪的，需要多看幾次才會懂。像是"someone wanted a new cell phone who can steal it."以及"Therefore, a fancy of cell phone has to stop before going too far."。
2.每一小段的topic sentence可以再清楚一些。
3.建議將conclusion寫出來，總結你所認為的有很大影響的優缺點，那麼讀起來會比較有方向。
A9415058
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